well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
