Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
