that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
