Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
