Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
