11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
