I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
