The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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