remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
