Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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