I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
