Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
