i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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