I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
