yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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