I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
