I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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