bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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