i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
