Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize