i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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