Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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