dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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