Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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