So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
