I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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