i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
