Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
