I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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