Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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