Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
this is an emotional support booty call
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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