Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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