wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Randomize
