even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
