One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
