he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
