So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
