he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The struggles of a small town man whore
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
