I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
