Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
And then he peed in my hair
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