I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
