This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
