i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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