Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
