i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
