ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
