No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
