i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
