I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
