Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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