Ambien. No doubt about it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
