Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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