I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
