Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
