She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
