you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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