The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
